


Envy

by izukino



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Graduation, Jealousy, M/M, POV First Person, Parallels, Regrets, Tears, Unrequited Love, Year After, envy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6436750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izukino/pseuds/izukino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the night before graduation day. I won’t be a third year anymore. I won’t be able to trace those halls crowded of students. I won’t exist in next year’s high school basketball championship. Most of all, I won’t be able to see him again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Envy

**Author's Note:**

> First time trying first person POV for my fan fictions and I believed that doing this certain POV would help improve this plot better than I expected. So please enjoy this fan fiction!

It’s the night before graduation day. I won’t be a third year anymore. I won’t be able to trace those halls crowded of students. I won’t exist in next year’s high school basketball championship. Most of all, I won’t be able to see  _ him _ again.

Here I was, laying in bed, pondering about the last few years.

Where the hell has the time gone? My eyes feel dry. My body? Stiff. But my heart.. It’s aching. All my third year friends are planning to stay nearby or at least in Tokyo. Meanwhile, I’m going to be studying abroad. I still haven’t told anybody about where I’m studying for college. People brought it up to me a lot but I always avoided informing them on where I’m going since I wanted to wait for a proper time to announce it. I haven’t even told Hyuuga about it.

Just thinking about Hyuuga makes my heart feel wrenched. I realized my feelings towards him last year towards the end of the winter when we won the Winter Cup. I frowned. But he’s with Kiyoshi now. I have what other people call “unrequited love.” I remembered the day I found out.

I felt something wet on my face and quickly sat up, wiping off the liquid. “Shit..” I sighed. “I’m crying already.” I couldn’t see since my room was dark and it was hours past midnight, but I could tell. It was obviously tears. The tears were streaming already. “Stop crying you idiot,” my breath hitched. I helplessly tried to wipe them all off but more flowed than I could remove.

I stared at the digital clock on my nightstand. 3:41 am. Most nights I slept just perfectly, but it was nights like these that once I stayed up past midnight, I could contemplate about every flaw of mine and the world around me, experiencing heartache. My eyelids felt heavy and the sobbing never stopped.

 

_ Someone please…  _

_ stop me from crying… _

_ please… _

 

* * *

 

_ It was practice, a casual Tuesday. I remembered it so vividly. I could remember every detail of that afternoon. I memorized how everyone walked, like normal. Except, him… Hyuuga limped every now and then. It appeared that I was the only one who noticed. I was planning on telling him my feelings if he accepted my invitation to hang out just like every now and then. _

_ I saw the shooting guard, Hyuuga, leave out of the gym doors in the middle of practice with Kiyoshi. I immediately rushed after him, “Hey, wait! Hyuuga! I didn’t get the chance to ask you if you want to ha-” I stopped mid-sentence, my words shoving back down into my throat from complete shock. _

_ There he was, pressed against a wall by Kiyoshi, making out… All the happiness and adrenaline evaporated from me. _

_ Their lips together… the sight… the sound of moans… it all disgusted me. ‘I’m too fucking late,’ my mind whispered repeatedly like a swarm. _

 

_ ‘I want to  _ _ cry _ _.’ _

 

_ ‘I want to  _ _ scream _ _.’ _

 

_ ‘I want to  _ _ die _ _.’ _

 

_ Yet I didn’t do any of those because I couldn’t. _

 

_ “Ah, Izuki! W-We didn’t see you there!” Hyuuga said. It seemed that they broke the disgusting makeout session already. _

 

_ How do you not see your best friend… _

 

_ “It’s okay! Sorry I intruded on this,” I faked a smile. _

 

_ I hate you… _

 

_ “No problem at all. Just don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” Kiyoshi laughed. _

 

_ What a stupid laugh… Weren’t you my friend too…  _

 

_ “Oh I won’t!” _

 

_ Like hell I would. I can’t even look you two in the damn fucking eyes anymore. _

 

_ I finally understood why Hyuuga was limping the whole day. When Kiyoshi and him are together, the strong scent of sex oozed into the air. My stomach felt like it was going to eject my lunch anytime soon. _

 

_ In that moment, the feeling I felt was unusual. But it wasn’t unfamiliar. _

 

**_It was envy._ **

 

* * *

 

Everyone looks so happy. Celebration was everywhere. It was either the pats on the backs or the tears of finally passing years of education. They feel overwhelming emotion. I don’t feel anything except numbness and my body decaying in a dark, empty void of my mentality. I got a few congratulations from my teammates, mostly the lowerclassmen. I did my usual jokes, the jokes that hid my insecurities.

“Hey, Izuki!” I heard the voice of my nightmares bark behind me. I turned around, making a (hopefully not noticeable) awkward grin.

“Oh hello, Hyuuga! Anything ya need? Hyuuga, you need to stop scaring me!” A dry laugh escaped my mouth.

He frowned, “We’re best friends and I don’t even know where you’re going for college!” I clutched onto my certificate tighter than I already have.

 

“I’m studying abroad.”

 

Hyuuga stayed quiet for a few seconds. He… looked so disappointed in me.

 

“Really? That’s great! G-Good luck with that,” Hyuuga patted me on the back. “I guess this is the end for us, huh?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“This is goodbye, Izuki.”

 

I nodded, “ _ Farewell, Junpei. _ ”

 

I turned around, facing my family that’s been waiting at the school gates, walking off. My face… it’s covered in those tears again. But why am I smiling? This pain, I won’t feel it again. I won’t feel the pain that I felt for the last year. From this day forward, I am a new person.

 

From this day forward, I will never see Hyuuga Junpei ever again.

 

* * *

  
  


Bonus:

 

_ I was rushing through the crowds of people, trying to find Kiyoshi. He was going to spend the night at my house today. I paused as I saw a sudden flash in the crowd. It was Izuki. _

_ “Hey, Izuki!” I called and caught up with him. It felt so amazing to see him turn towards me. The weight on my shoulders, that I didn’t know that was there, was lifted. Relief flooded my body. It felt like I haven’t talked to him in forever. The last time I had an actual conversation with him was that time when he cockblocked me after making out with Kiyoshi. _

_ “Oh hello, Hyuuga! Anything ya need? Hyuuga, you need to stop scaring me!” He smiled at me. He hasn’t given me a smile in months. I can’t even tell if it’s real or not like I done in the past. And oh how I missed those stupid puns of his. Now that I think about miss… I wonder which college he’s going to! I remember promising to go to the same college when we were younger. _

_ “We’re best friends and I don’t even know where you’re going for college!” The ends of my mouth went downwards. Izuki looked so tense and pale. I glanced down for a moment. His hands are shaking. I could see big scars on his wrists under the cuffs of his sleeves, which  were rising up just like his shoulders. I wonder where he got those… _

 

_ “I’m studying abroad.” _

 

_ No… You can’t possibly… Why would you bring it up during the last time we see each other?! This is suppose to be one of the happiest days of our lives...  _

_ “Really? That’s great! G-Good luck with that.” I fucking stuttered. I shouldn’t have stuttered. Ugh I’m a fuck-up. I give him a quick, hesitant pat on the back. “I guess this is the end for us, huh?” _

 

_ “Mhm.” _

 

_ He sounds so uninterested and like he doesn’t want to talk to me again. “This is goodbye, Izuki.” He simply nodded. _

 

_ “Farewell, Junpei.” _

 

_ That was it. That was all he said before walking off towards those school gates, the gates that brought both a beginning and an end to our school days for three years. It was the first time he called me by my first name. I will never get to hear those puns or see that beautiful smile I was greeted everyday with. I can’t remember the way he laughs anymore. It’s like he walked out of my life. But… it’s reality. My heart aches for the first time. I shouldn’t have chosen Kiyoshi. I was wrong all along because I chose the wrong man to go through the future with. _

 

_ In that moment, the feeling I felt was unusual. But it wasn’t unfamiliar. _

 

**_It was regret._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if there were any mistakes. This fan fiction was rushed within a two day period because this plot has been cycling through my mind all break! Hope you enjoyed reading~


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